Dear Diary,
I’m not okay.
Far from it.
I thought that this life was my chance to prove that I wouldn’t become her clone.
But now that I’ve discovered these powers I can’t help but worry it’s just in my genetics. Or even worse, my destiny. This evil and need for ultimate power is a curse I can’t escape.
Every time I age up, it’s like there’s a rush of hazy memories that come filtering back to me in my dreams. First it was little things. Like Summer’s basement. Or the burning smell of potions brewing in the basement. Or holding hands with a mannequin and calling him Dada when I was a toddler.
But then everything became more vibrant. More vivid. Being forced to blow out the candles on my birthday cake and this vague, nauseating recollection that I forced Jamie to do the same. Then, giving Caiden’s family some kind of bizarre looking fruit to poison them. And worst of all: Summer magically forcing me to kiss Caiden — which is quite possibly the most disturbing nightmare I’ve ever had. Like, eww. Gross. Never, ever, EVER, happening. That man is like a father to me now. The thought that memory could even possibly be real makes me want to hurl. But it does explain why we have a very dark red romance bar I suppose, which I always found majorly weird.
I feel like as these memories have become stronger, something inside of me has stirred. No matter how happy I try to be, the gloominess continues to over power me and now: these magic powers have awakened too.
I can’t control them. I don’t know how to. I’m setting fire to things like she did and I can’t make it stop. I don’t remember getting these abilities and I don’t know if they’re my own or if I inherited them from Summer. Did I seek out witchcraft because I wanted to? Did I visit the sage of practical magic or did I get these powers from someone as terrifying and untamed as Summer? Did Summer force me to become a witch or was I born with it because she was one? Is evil just an inescapable part of my DNA?
I desperately need answers. I need to know if I’m evil. Or if I still have the chance to be good.
I want to be good. I need to be good.
I have to be good. Please. Just tell me I’m good.
Love,
Travitha
